It was a Friday night. I still had a full time “day job”, and went out for happy hour with my co-workers that evening. John called to tell me he’d cooked me dinner, so I should come home. I said goodnight to my friends and hopped on the subway, and went home to my lovely boyfriend. Who cooked for me. We ate dinner, we watched TV, and sometime that evening he turned to me and said, “Do you want to get hitched?” And I sort of lightly punched him in the arm, “That’s a mean thing to joke about.” He laughed, “I’m not joking! Do you want to get hitched? Let’s do it.” I started sobbing hysterically out of nowhere, instantly and totally overcome. Somewhere, between sobs, I said yes. The next day he took me to pick a ring, and it was perfect.
It wasn’t an elaborate proposal; there was no big plan. No photographer hiding somewhere. It had been something we were discussing, and it was just suddenly right. It was very us. And it was the best thing I ever said yes to.
Marriage is a funny thing. Sometimes I feel like it’s no different at all – after all, we lived together five years before we married. We were committed with a capital C. But then sometimes, it does feel different. And I can’t quite place how. It’s a subtle shift. Depending on the day you ask me if it feels different, I may say yes or I may say no. Sometimes both at the same time.
Often when John and I are just about to go to bed, we’ll lay awake talking and giggling. Sometimes it’s the first time we’ve really talked all day because of our crazy work schedules. It’s something that reminds me of being a child and having a friend stay over. The not wanting to go to sleep – whispering the in the dark as if someone is going to knock on the door and say, “be quiet, go to sleep!” But there’s just so much you want to talk about with this person all of the sudden. It makes me feel like marriage is a life long slumber party with your best friend. I suppose that’s an incredibly childish view of marriage, but in those moments, that’s what I think of.
Three years ago today, on the first full day of spring, I said yes to the best question anyone’s ever asked me. It feels like a million years has passed since then; we are different people with different lives, it seems. But now there is always a constant on this adventure: our tiny, happy family of two. Well… four if you count the cats. And I always count the cats.