After my post the other day on kicking yourself in the ass, my best friend called me. “I just read your blog. Is this about [insert thing here]?” She instantly knew, and I just laughed and laughed, because it’s moments like that when you know you’ve got the greatest best friend in the world. Someone who knows you well enough to read between the lines. (I love you, Hilary.)
Everything is just totally insane right now – and it’s so good – but it’s so scary. And stressful. I have spent this week in limbo… sitting on my hands, waiting for an outcome. I pace the apartment, I get the bare minimum of work done that I need to. My mind drifts off. I keep forgetting to do important things – like eating and laundry. But the reality is that we probably have at least a month of limbo ahead of us, so I need to get used to this state. (For the record, I am not with child. People keep asking me if it’s that, but definitely not.) I am really looking forward to talking about this in a month or two – whichever way the outcome ends up being, good or bad. And until then, I just have to make more of an effort to be here. In my life.
I’ve been so wrapped up, that I just today realized that – aside from the trip we’re taking next month – this is my last week without any shoots/weddings until July. I don’t have another week “off” (at home), until then. I remember circling this week on my calendar… I had so many plans to connect with friends this week, catch up on everything before wedding season officially explodes. But instead I mentally checked out. Kind of lame.
So this is me promising to be more present in my life, even when things are crazy. Even when I just want to hibernate until the insanity blows over. And I think this afternoon we need some wedding photos to cheer this place up. So I’ll be back with some prettiness in a few hours.