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Tough Love

There is a lot swirling around in my brain this afternoon. I wasn’t going to blog today since I blogged on Saturday, but apparently I have something I want to get out. It’s been a strange day, I guess. Well… a strange couple of days. And It’s all left me thinking about destiny, and how in control of our own destiny we are. How I am so good at it and also kind of terrible at it at the same time. There is this part of my life that I have such a handle on – my marriage, my business, my friendships, my health. These things are not perfect by any means, everything has its ups and downs. But I have taken ownership of these things and my role in them. And they make me so happy, sustain me in so many ways.

But there are other things in my life that are not quite so together. Things that are sometimes tumultuous. And instead of trying to make them better, instead of doing what I want to do, figuring out a solution… I just ignore the problems. Because I’m scared… or I don’t want to rock the boat. And it makes me a miserable person to be around sometimes. I will OBSESS about it, but I won’t do anything to make things better. It is so completely stupid and obnoxious.

It’s so easy to be in control of some things, and then think you are just a passenger on an out of control bus when it comes to other things. I don’t know how to drive a bus, it’s too hard. I guess I just have to sit here and hope it doesn’t go off a cliff. But that’s silly, isn’t it? If you were on an out of control bus, wouldn’t you jump up and try to stop it, even though you don’t know how to drive one? You’d at least give it a go.

No one can make us feel miserable without our permission, right? We have SO MUCH more control than we think we do. If you want something – no matter what it is – you have to get it yourself. Nobody is going to do it for you. Whether you want to follow a dream, fix a problem, start a business, workout everyday, stop a bad habit, travel the world… whatever. YOU are the only one with the power to make it happen. Nobody is going to hold your hand and nobody can do it for you. GET OFF YOUR ASS, AND DO THE WORK. Stop saying you’ll do it later… your excuses are invalid. I think this is going to be my new motto in life.

I am so guilty of letting others make me feel miserable, of not doing something I want to do because I’m too scared. But then I remember all the things that I was scared to do and did anyway… and for the most part, those have been the best decisions I’ve ever made. And that’s what I have to do. I am jumping in the driver’s seat and getting this bus back on the road. I think you should figure out what the out of control bus is in your life and do the same. Stop making excuses. You’re only hurting yourself.

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  • thank you for posting this! i agree with everything you said.. just gotta keep reminding yourself!

  • I kinda can’t figure out which part of your life isn’t together if your work, marriage, friendships and health are all under control (and seriously, GO YOU!), but I guess that isn’t the point. I totally agree, though. 99% our excuses are invalid. It’s scary to be in the driver’s seat, knowing that our success or failure is 100% up to us…but the fear can be replaced by the joy of success! Go for it. :D

  • Zan

    Katie Jane get out of my head!

  • Three cheers Katie! Here’s to getting scared more and doing more scary things every day.

  • Thank you! I needed to hear this today. Also – I’m of course curious about what your out of control bus is – since you seem to have it so together woman! But regardless – wishing you the best love! Drive that bus! ;-) xo.

  • If it’s not scaring the sh*t out of you, it’s not worth doing. So amen, grab that bus wheel. And I have to say the path your driving that bus on is pretty great. Go you!!

  • Yes! Yes yes yes!

    I am so with you. And so curious what bus you are about to grab hold of (a la Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock? Ha!)

    A friend recently said to me, what you say yes to, you get more of. If you say yes to what you don’t want, more of what you don’t want lines up to take your time and attention.

    Say yes to the good stuff and get more good stuff.

    Not quite about fear, but related to the bus grabbing.

    This makes me want to read and reinterpret Mo Willem’s “Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus!” (children’s book, not self-help manifesto, or is it…?)

    :)